YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize