addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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