This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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