Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
