her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
