she kept yelling 'call me bella'
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
i think my cat just said my name.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
