she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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