I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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