he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
