I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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