Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Randomize
