I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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