Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
