Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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