It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
