My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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