She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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