its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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