it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
