i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i drank out of a bidet.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
