Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
