I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
