I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
