Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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