i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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