Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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