If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
