Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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