So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
