Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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