so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This is the high leading the old right now
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
