The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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