Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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