Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
