If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
