Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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