I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
