yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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