You were right. It hurts to walk today.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
