It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
