I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize