so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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