Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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