I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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