i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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