i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
