everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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