I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
