And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
