Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize