OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
