I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
that may or may not have been my penis.
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