Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
