I think I am morally bankrupt
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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