THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
