Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
